when you're ready to wave the white flag...

today i had plans. plans to go get my best friend a little happy as she is having to put her sweet dog to rest today. plans to pick up my push present (a bracelet) that broke months ago and is FINALLY ready. plans clean the playroom for the first time in a month, while all the kids nap. plans to swing by the mall and grab the mascara i'm out of. i had a lot of plans. not on my list of plans was blogging about simms having a parasite and ellis almost knocking himself out.

the twins in their UBER cute parasol diapers. $20 off your first month with code TOUCHOFGRAY

the twins in their UBER cute parasol diapers. $20 off your first month with code TOUCHOFGRAY


allow me to back up some… on our way home from savannah vance had a fever. it ended up turning into a high fever when we got home, i'm talking like 104. i have a huge fear of febrile seizures (seizures caused by sudden high fevers) and literally had a Facebook friend YESTERDAY telling about how her son had one and they had to perform CPR on him. we alternated tylenol/advil every 4 hours for vance to keep the fever down. then he got horrible diarrhea and stomach cramps…eventually he got what appeared to be bloody diarrhea. i was panicking, texting every friend in the medical profession that i knew asking if he needed to go to the ER. they actually all said he did, for possible dehydration. cal and i know that drill well, they can never find a vein for the twins and were always better off at home syringing pedialyte down their throats. so thats what we did. his mysterious illness lasted EIGHT DAYS. 

so on friday night, simms started complaining about stomach pain. he was still complaining on saturday but hadn't gone to the bathroom in 2 days so i attributed it to that. saturday night i ended up taking his temperature and he had a low fever. all i could think was "SHIT!!!! did vance give him this!??" sunday morning, cal had gotten up early to go fishing for Father's Day (lucky him) i woke up in a pile of diarrhea (simms still sleeps with us…no the diarrhea wasn't from me!) it was the worst way i have ever been woken up. cal dodged a diarrhea bullet. the rest of the day was miserable. simms was CONSTANTLY screaming in pain about his stomach. i went back and forth with going to the ER but wasn't sure how they would even be able to help the stomach cramping. i decided we'd wait it out and go see the doctor on monday.

so! yesterday i took him in, stool sample and all. they called me today to say he has a PARASITE called cryptospordium!!! i asked how in the world he got that and they said usually its from pool water or rivers/lakes/ etc that have been contaminated with the parasite. its very hardy and isn't even killed with chlorine. so its a no brainer that vance had the parasite too. so i'm thinking how grateful i am that cal, ellis, and i never got it! i'm literally texting my brother and cal to tell them what simms and vance ended up having and i hear a HORRIBLE thud. so loud i thought one of the twins had knocked over my marble side into the wall. then i heard the screaming, i rush out of my bathroom into the hall to find ellis holding his head and screaming. he had the most horrific knot i have seen since i saw my brother get hit with a baseball bat. i literally started panicking. i was a train wreck. i realized i was freaking ellis out more and i HAD to chill. i sent this photo to his doc and asked..scratch that…BEGGED for help.

i was assured that it was worse than it looks and just to ice it and watch for vomiting or drowsiness. PRAISE THE LORD. needless to say, the playroom isn't cleaned and most of my other plans are ruined for today too..

ellis ate some lunch and is acting completely normal. after i put them down for their nap i was reminded of a verse from my devotional the other day:

God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.

Genesis 41:52

as much as i want to wave my white flag and complain, i'm not going to. not today. it doesn't serve me well to live negatively. i don't need to sit around feeling sorry for myself and the cards i was dealt these past two weeks. its so easy to take that road and as a tired mom of 3 under 2.5, i often think about taking it. but i want to teach my kids to be joyful, even in suffering. God is good. the parasite will run its course. ellis's head will heal. today has been hard but its not BAD. i have to remind myself how hard i fought to even have these kids at all. their life is a GIFT. everyday is a GIFT. i deserve none of it. my plans actually don't matter. 

xoxo- hannah