cades cove

if i don't get a break from paw patrol, i am going to lose my fucking mind. i would say sorry about the language, but i'd be lying. i'm not sorry. i catch myself singing "pup pup bogie!" and "the air outside is trippy and my friends are getting frisky" or whatever the dumb ass lyrics are to that God forsaken song. i can literally hear the theme song in my sleep.

have you guys actually WATCHED an episode? its always the same thing. some idiot doing something stupid shit like driving on the edge of a cliff in a blizzard with a kid in the car. no joke, i saw that episode. the car was dangling on the edge of the cliff. i literally said to simms "look at the idiot uncle that took his nephew driving on a cliff in a blizzard." i have no idea what this show is supposed to be teaching kids but its like some kind of toddler cult. i take a lot of toddler pictures and when i ask "who's your favorite paw patrol?" they ALL say either chase or marshall. also note, THEY ALL WATCH IT. ALL OF THEM. so why does no one like rocky? he's green (which is my favorite color besides black) and he drives the recycling truck....now that i am thinking of it, what the hell is his point on this show? i mean what good is a recycling truck when a car is dangling on the edge of a cliff. i am kind of at a loss here. the ONLY thing i like about this show is that i can get stuff done while my kids watch it. besides that, IT SUCKS. why can't my kids be captivated by shows that actually teach them things? insert eye roll.

so we decided to take the kids up to the mountains and let the kids run free. i mean my favorite memories growing up are just about all in the mountains. camping, fishing, hiking, backpacking, tubing, swimming, skiing, new years eves, hot tubs, etc etc etc. they haven't been to cades cove i a while and we decided to take them. it was a disaster.

first off, it was freezing. the minute they got out of the car everyone was screaming about being cold and when they were in the car, no one would let me roll the window down. what the hell is the point of cades cove with the windows up!? second of all, no one wanted to play. cal played a really mean joke on vance and told him one of the cabins was his new house. he started crying saying "i no like it. it scary." i thought the river would be a hit, again too cold. simms smiled for maybe 13 seconds at one point when i let him climb a boulder. besides that the biggest hit was the gift shop.

when we got home cal asked what animals everyone saw (because all we saw were a couple deer, turkeys pecking along the road, and 2 people riding horses) and the kids named all the stuff animals in the gift shop. i was crying laughing. cal said "we didn't see otters and raccoons and bears hannah!? what the hell are they talking about!?" i had to tell him that was all the toys they saw in the gift shop. so then we explained that we wanted them to tell us what they saw in the car and vance said "i saw cowboy" and "i see turkey eat rocks" .......... hahahahaha.

so the mountains were a flop. hopefully they will enjoy it more as they get older and it gets warmer out. or maybe once charles manson... i mean paw patrol...loosens its grip on these boys.